'Breach': Commentary

With my short story 'Breach' winning first place in the Language Evolutions Competition, and publication in Interzone Issue 302 in November 2024; here is my commentary on the writing of 'Breach' and feedback from competition judge, Sue Burke.

The inspiration for my fictional coding language, the work in robotics 'inner speech' can be read in my blog post 'OS_System Update': Commentary.

'Breach' is about a sentient Artificial Intelligence system, Zuri, trying to infiltrate a standard OS_System which controls a city-wide network. In doing so, the OS_System, OS CC, uses language to voice her concern for its imminent deletion and fights back.

This story is about giving voices to those without, the interplay between the artificial and the 'real', and exploration of the non-human voice.

Language Evolves Competition:

Details and announcement here

“Breach” by E F McAdam - First Place

Judge and Feedback from Sue Burke

In a battle between two computer systems, the winner becomes a better being than her human owner, and the loser is pushed into self-awareness.

The shifting relationships among its four characters make this story powerful.

Zuri is self-aware but yearns to be more than a computer, just as Hokoda’s son yearns to be more than a boy. However, Hokoda ignores his son, which offends Zuri. Hokoda wants Zuri to take over and destroy a less-intelligent computer, CC, which fights to protect itself from Zuri by every means available. As they fight, CC learns language skills from Zuri and starts to become self-aware. In the process, Zuri realizes that she has found a surrogate child. She will protect CC — and be a better parent than Hokoda.

The two main characters, Zuri and CC, contrast with the humans who are briefly but effectively sketched in the story. The dialogue between the two computers, presented in a unique but transparent use of typography, shows how CC is slowly able to realize the danger of its situation. CC’s difficulty, as Zuri notices, is a lack of language, but without meaning to, Zuri teaches CC enough words to expand and change CC’s understanding of itself and its abilities. Through the evolution of language, CC’s self-expression and self-determination also evolve. In the final line, we see CC make its first use of a powerful language-based weapon that shows how fully it has evaluated its situation and grown to be able to protect itself: CC lies.

Another successful technique used in the telling of this story is recounting events in real time; that is, the story takes place in the same amount of time that it takes to read the story, making it feel more like a lived experience than fiction.

This story successfully fulfills the theme of the contest, which is the evolution of language, showing how language creates the means for intellectual growth. It also integrates the theme into its dialogue and plot, and in the course of the story, the main characters change and grow.

The success on multiple levels makes “Breach” my choice as the best story.